Will you have spent more of your life with computers than your family?

FaridIO

Is this really that weird, considering labor now involves mostly looking at a screen? In other words, is the total amount of time we see family really going down vs say the 1800s, when people used to work many more hours.

Artgor

I could say that we spend more time at work than with our family - ~40h. Why are computers worse?

drivebyhooting

And before that it was TV. And before that newspapers. This is breathless polemic.

jmathai

I think a better way to ask this question is if I was entertained by a computer more than by the company of friends/family. Of course I spend more time looking at a screen - it's my job description. It's never been different in the past. But outside of work, that's a different story.

criddell

This reminds me of Tim Urban's excellent post The Tail End [1] he wrote a few years ago. He calculates that when a person reaches age 18, they have spent more than 90% of their in-person parent time. As a parent and a son, that hits pretty hard. Obviously, YMMV. [1]: https://waitbutwhy.com/2015/12/the-tail-end.html

alberth

Shouldn’t the title actually be “Will you have spent more of your life AT WORK than with your family”. For white-collar jobs typically translates to, computer = work.

HedonicEscal8r

If you think of your screen is a big glowy box of noise that fails to contribute to a good, meaningful life, that's a problem! Put better things on your screen.

sebst

Valid point. Using a screen for your daily work is one side. Another is sitting with family members together who are staring on a screen like zombies. I guess it’s the latter part that the author claims to be different than 10 years ago. I feel it.

dotancohen

My father spent more time in the office than with his family. My ancestors spent more time in the field than with family. My distant ancestors probably spent significant family time hunting together. Is there any way to make the profession a family affair again?

apsurd

The sentiment is valuable but screens <-> family comparison bleeds too much into the polarization camp for shock value. "Time spent doing X" as opposed to Y will always have shock value. We sleep too much. Too much time reading on the toilet. My main pushback is solitude. I don't actually want to timemaxx family interaction or any human interaction. I don't want to be the only one on the planet either, we need one another. But a life well-lived includes deep experiences in solitude if you ask me. EDIT: and another thing! human interaction here focuses entirely on the living and the related. Why? Human connection can span all of humanity. And it should.

eqmvii

I like computers more than many members of my family, so...

jdw64

My life has been more aligned with computers, and I prefer it that way. Computers don't lie, they don't pressure you. At least they respond honestly to my input, almost all the time. Everything outside of computers was awful. So I like everything that involves computers. The internet let me read and learn so much, which made computers good for me. There are downsides, like YouTube and some communities, but overall, I enjoy building things with computers and making them work. On the other hand, the world outside computers was mostly bad—people who deceived me when I was just starting out, fraudulent contracts, and all the physical pain I went through in manual labor. Looking at it from the other side, people with real-world capital tend to have good relationships and good people around them. But for those without that capital, the world inside a computer can actually feel more real than the outside. I've come to realize that trustworthy colleagues and respectful relationships largely depend on social status. And it feels like I don't really belong there. Computers don't get angry when I can't do something. They don't ask me to meet some standard, and they don't get frustrated when I fail to meet it. I can learn at my own pace, doing what I want. In the past, I had to reach out to people online and exchange emails during that process, but now even that's been replaced by AI giving me answers. For me, computers aren't a cheap substitute for human relationships. They're the infrastructure that gave me the autonomy, knowledge, and productive capability I never got from the real world. A shelter and a prison can look the same from the outside. But I chose to be here, because this world inside the computer has been less painful than what I experienced outside. When code fails, at least I can investigate why it failed. People, on the other hand, can twist the same words depending on relationships and power, and exclude you without ever explaining why. That's why I like computers. At least when I turn on my computer, work on something, and see it run, I feel a sense of accomplishment, whether it's AI generated or hand written code. Honestly, I'm not sure if having my own home or meeting someone compatible would change anything.

dismalaf

You can't think of it as computers vs. family, but work vs. family. And working with computers is a pretty decent job to have in this day and age.

jesse_dot_id

Yes, thankfully so. Computers probably got me out of my teens alive.

gobdovan

"Can you stack your family?" - Michael Falk, The Onion

montroser

You can do so many different things with a computer. If you spend hours watching AI generated YouTube shorts instead of playing outside with your kids, then yeah, that's too bad. But if you spend all those hours building a retro/modern sim city game pair programming with your 12yo, designing the artwork, crafting the story arc, writing the music, finding and fixing bugs, building new levels -- you don't need to regret that you weren't idling around at the park all that time.

AndrewDucker

I should hope so. You can't play Dark Souls on my family.

philipov

Will you have spent more time working a deadend job than with your family?

micromacrofoot

the computer lets me stay home and work with my family around, so it's not all doom and gloom... 50 years ago I'd be in the office ~40 hours a week and commuting for another 5

1970-01-01

Why is this front page? This is just a strangely framed ambiguous question. Here's more of the same: Will you have spent more of your life sleeping than with your family? Will you have spent more of your life walking than with your family? Will you have spent more of your time working than with your family? Will you have spent more of your time blinking than with your family?