Who People Talk to When They're Struggling

MrDrDr

Is the true in America? I’m in the UK, and while social isolation, particularly for men is probably worse than it was, I think many, myself included, have at least one person we can turn to in times of crisis. Or am I in a bubble?

zdw

This whole blog is fascinating, assuming that you're interested in the intersection between (recent) history, demographics, politics, and religion in the US. For example - this one about generations and trust was surprising to me: https://www.graphsaboutreligion.com/p/gen-z-doesnt-trust-any... or this on perception of the religiosity of holidays: https://www.graphsaboutreligion.com/p/is-christmas-a-religio...

ConfusedDog

I'm part of Freemasonry. All members are at least vested for criminal conducts, my lodge at least is very strict on background investigation, so it's easier to pick trustworthy brothers to talk to. I'm probably one the youngest members and benefitted from wisdom and patience from older brothers. I'm not a church member but that would be a good alternative.

randusername

It's also about where you go with your struggles. Do you go home and talk to your spouse? Do you go to church and talk with your pastor? Do you go to your therapist or to the local bar? > Comfort with mental health care has become another facet of political sorting in the U.S. I'm skeptical. Bars and churches and friends are way cheaper and more accessible in red states. It's hard enough to get poorer, less educated men comfortable going to the doctor, let alone a therapist.

ianjbutler

> The preamble is straightforward: “How comfortable would you be talking about your mental health and emotional well-being with each of the following?" Seems like a pretty broken premise, ranking comfort instead of what you expected to help most. Also related, people are typically more comfortable confessing to strangers or under circumstances that won't endanger an existing relationship, which seems like a big part of why confession is anonymous. Self-reporting here is probably basically the same as asking "according to your community norms, how are you supposed to answer a question like this?" without much real reveal

roshanabdullah1

depends. many talk to their loved ones. which actually help in so many ways!

mannanj

Right before COVID I stumbled across mens groups, they were a way I first learned I could get my underlying needs for getting seen met in a way no other mechanism in society offered. Society was trying actually to meet this need in so many other pseudo forms, but where it fell short and what I needed was: - a safe space to share what my experience without needing to be fixed or someone giving me unsolicited feedback - place where competition was turned off (sports groups, board game nights, video games etc had previously been this but since they were competitive they met a different need) - a cadence that met regularly and where space for me to speak with structure was a requirement I liked this so much I even formed one in DC before I was pushed away for work to an abusive Dallas Capital One environment (which my men helped me navigate while my coworkers accepted the abuse being blind to it). I Highly recommend trying a mens groups, find one on Facebook or Google, or try the project mankind groups or No Mr Nice Guy’s Dr Glover runs one online. The one I was a part of longest is also open: embodied masculine (more extreme embodiment based group) but starting off get your toes wet first.

post_break

I'd be curious about the results in the main graph if it included no one. That would be much more telling, because right now it appears that most people talk to at least someone.

someguyiguess

Don’t talk to anyone. Internalize it and transmute it into something powerful instead.

jeffrallen

To those who answer "my spouse", please think carefully about building an alternative support system if/when it happens that the mental health situation you are dealing with comes from a breakdown in ability to communicate with your spouse. I recently went thru a rough period triggered by how my spouse was feeling. If you've both always counted on having the other ready to listen, and that's temporarily impossible for acute reasons, the shock is enormous, and almost undermined my problem solving ability to understand I needed to find a psychologist to talk to. We're ok now, but it could have easily gotten way worse before it got better. Having a solid relationship is unfortunately not a protection from losing the security it gives you, psychologically.

ameliaquining

I feel like "large language model" should be on these graphs. For better or for worse, it's the answer to these questions for an increasing number of people.

bongoman42

This is a solved problem in 2026. You can create as many bots with varied personalities to talk to. Therapists have a vested interest in you continuing to talk to them and can induce neuroses in susceptible individuals.