Most arguments are about ego, not ideas

gorfian_robot

as they say it wastes your time and annoys the pig

josefritzishere

This is a bizarrely anti-democratic. "Winning" isn't the important part of discussing a topic with multiple points of view.

Dumblydorr

They never mention they could’ve been wrong. The author assumes they’re always right, but that trying to convince others and argue them to their right side is not valuable. How about: maybe I’m wrong and I didn’t let their ideas influence me. How about: even when I think I’m right, it will be better to calmly kindly discuss, listening as much as talking, not debating or arguing or speaking over them, but attempting to see new perspectives. I could well be wrong about this :)

gignico

I was about to start arguing why I don't agree but then I thought it was better not to :P

mikert89

Correct someone else at work and get ready for endless politics

hahahaa

I don't argue hard because I could be wrong. So: I state my point. They can take it or leave it. If passionate I'll follow up offline/async with more ideas. You really wanna be working with good faith people who are reasonably smart or all bets are off. Put the effort into a better work circumstance if not.

andsoitis

One reason TO argue is to seek out opposite points of view, which you can then use to hone your own thinking, including doing a 180.

sublinear

> When you argue with someone, you think you’re debating an idea. Often you’re not. You’re challenging their sense of self. This seems more true for the author than everyone else. They didn't discover anything new about others, nor did they learn to argue more effectively. They just discovered their own ego, finally realized how often it gets in the way, and gave up. While I agree that the best course of action is often to "do nothing", sulking is not nothing. I'm convinced they're the type of person who still argues with people on reddit all the time, but decided to stop doing that at work and with family. That's still unhealthy.

Amorymeltzer

>Slartibartfast: I'd far rather be happy than right any day. >Arthur: And are you? >Slartibartfast: No. That's where it all falls down of course. >Arthur: Pity. It sounded like rather a good lifestyle otherwise. Adulthood, career, marriage, parenthood, nearly everything since I first read The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy as a (pre?)teen has been slowly, stubbornly learning that this exchange is basically the key to everything.

barrenko

“Few people think more than two or three times a year; I have made an international reputation for myself by thinking once or twice a week.” ― George Bernard Shaw

toomuchtodo

Some of the best professional advice I ever received was "Half your job is being liked by those you work for and with, everything else you can learn." Being right is important in the context of the work you're responsible for delivering on, but so is knowing when to be right, and knowing when not to care if they're wrong. If the decision is outside of your control, document extensively, establish and preserve a paper trail, and move on. "Thoughts, knowledge, and opinions, loosely held." (i believe that is the point of author's piece; pick your battles, you will not win every one, nor should you try or think of it as winning)

hakunin

One of the most cancerous developments of our generation is a bunch of people isolating themselves from everyone else, and having their perfect unchallenged audience captured views spread far and wide. On a more personal level, the reason people are frustrated about arguing is because they can’t fully articulate their reasons. They don’t realize it themselves. The older you get and the more practiced you get at arguing, the less contentious it becomes, as you can simply say what underpins what you’re saying in an easily understandable way, and then if that didn’t convince the other side, you did all you could.

erfgh

The whole article is AI slop.

subzero06

Everyone believes they are right until they are shown otherwise. What matters most is not just what you say, but how you say it.

bkieffer

Do we care that 100% of this writing was generated with AI?

rappatic

LLM-generated slop. Please don't post wastes of our time like this

pjmlp

Another to put it, is how Dan Saks from C++ fame puts it. > "If you remember one thing, it's this: if you are arguing, you are losing."

Altern4tiveAcc

I stopped engaging in arguments once I realized there's very little to gain by trying to convince someone you're right (regardless of who's actually right). If there's nothing major at stake (say, trying to convincing someone with cancer to seek treatment instead of ignoring it), it's not worth your (or their) time.

ripe

My human-written summary: Most people are ego-driven and won't listen to your logical arguments. They will only get angry with you even if you're right. So don't argue with them. Give advice only if they ask. If you really know something others don't realize, maybe that's a valuable edge for you to profit from. Use it. And don't hesitate to ask others for advice when it might help you.

xenocratus

There is arguing, and then there is arguing. The whole post discusses whether to argue or not, without touching on the fairly important (imho) topic of how to argue and how not to argue. Vast majority of people probably hate to argue with someone who's a jerk during said argument, regardless of their correctness. I've also found myself arguing against someone whose point I actually support, but who is arguing in a non-sensical way, or with bad arguments for said point. Because I don't want that point to be dragged down by easy-to-defeat arguments, even if I then have to fight both sides. But anyway: how you argue matters, put some effort into it, and don't assume that being right means you're doing a good job.