I went to America's worst national parks so you don't have to

notpachet

If you haven't tortured yourself on the Devil's Corkscrew switchbacks on the Bright Angel Trail at the Grand Canyon, on the hottest day of summer, have you really National Parked?? All joking aside, I disagree with the author regarding the Grand Canyon. Havasupai Gardens -- the verdant oasis at the bottom of the canyon, where you can camp and recharge -- is one of my favorite places I've camped. There are areas for wading and swimming, and the sounds of the night creatures is eerily beautiful.

rseech01

I was hoping to see his thoughts on the Everglades. His hate is strong.

visiohex

The ironic thing about the "best" national parks these days is that they are so overcrowded the experience can be genuinely miserable. I would gladly take a "sub-par" or boring park where I can actually be alone with nature over sitting in a two-hour traffic jam in Yosemite or Yellowstone just to see a tree.

slackfan

Please stay in your concrete box and never leave.

impendia

I live in South Carolina, about half an hour from Congaree National Park. It's not a place you'd drive across the country to see, but it's beautiful and highly worth a visit. There are some freaky trees -- with knobs of roots that stick out from the ground, like nothing else I've seen. The place is kinda creepy, as if you're about to be attacked by zombies, and I love that. There is a two mile elevated boardwalk which takes you around some of the most scenic areas of the park, and further hiking trails which branch off of that. There is also a river that goes through the park, and it's quite atmospheric in a canoe.

zeroonetwothree

Very entertaining post. I’ve only been to a small number of national parks but I do agree they aren’t especially nicer than some of the non-national park places I’ve been. My favorite is probably Point Lobos (a mere “state” park).

spprashant

First I am hearing of Gateway Arch national park, and I am very confused why it's a national park?

jackconsidine

> Can you hike in the Grand Canyon? Yes, technically. You can walk along the rim, but the view won’t change; same damn canyon on one side, same damn parking lot on the other. There are trails that go down into the canyon, but they’re a trap. They are featureless steep inclines formed into endless switchbacks, and when they finally end, there’s nothing to do except go back up, which will be just as boring but three times as hard and might kill you. I’ve seen enough. From the Midwest so was looking forward to a takedown of the dunes (or something witty craptowns esq). but dunking on the GC for being a canyon? The “non superlative” is largest canyon by volume

kccqzy

> Look: there are better canyons. There are better canyons just as accessible as the Grand Canyon, just as nice to look at, and much more interesting to actually exist in. Go to Bryce Canyon. Go to Zion Canyon (in the off season). Go to the Black Canyon of the Gunnison. Go to Canyonlands! I totally agree. Canyonlands is in my opinion the single most amazing national park. Parts of it is hard to get to, but even locations readily reachable in a car has amazing views that change. And there are basically no crowds. Bryce Canyon has good hikes but the fact that NPS runs a bus in the park tells you about the crowding situation. It’s still good if you don’t mind crowds. Zion is also not bad but the crowds are worse than Bryce Canyon. The mile or so of the Virgin River is like a manmade water park.

1970-01-01

Now do Canada!

pushedx

It's refreshing to read writing which is not AI generated

jobs_throwaway

> Every day hike in Zion Canyon is kind of like waiting in line at Disney World. You’re waiting in line in a magical place, but you’re still waiting in line. You ask a dead-eyed park ranger to recommend you a less popular hike, and he spits in your face. There is no such thing as a less-popular hike in Zion Canyon. You will wait in line on the trail and you will be grateful you piece of shit. Yeah, you can safely disregard anything this idiot says. This is simply not true. When I did the Zion traverse we went a full day without seeing people at one point, never waited in line. If you want to the Disneyland version, yeah it'll be crowded.

dabluecaboose

> Look: there are better canyons. There are better canyons just as accessible as the Grand Canyon, just as nice to look at, and much more interesting to actually exist in. Go to Bryce Canyon. Ironically, Bryce Canyon isn't actually a canyon.

swasheck

whether or not you agree with the author's conclusions, most of his rationale behind them is spot on. yeah GC is majestic and amazing from the bottom up, and if you find the hidden gems within the park then you are golden. but the average experience is a solid “meh.” was disappointed to see the great sand dunes omitted from the list of the worst. people obsess over those and every time i’ve gone it’s been a unquestionably miserable experience, not to mention a general letdown

BenFranklin100

“I’m pretty content to say that North America absolutely mogs the rest of the world in national parks. “ This is exactly what a European friend remarked to me years ago. He thought us Americans were a bit unaware of just how good we had it compared to the rest of the world.

sudosteph

State parks are where it's at. But love the Gatlinburg aside. It's like Myrtle Beach, but worse. The Blue Ridge mountains have amazing natural beauty for miles in every direction. So many great towns too - Blowing Rock, Boone, Asheville, Maggie Valley, (hopefully Chimney Rock will be back on that list someday). Why anyone would pick Gatlinburg to visit is beyond me.

mstudio

Thank you for this -- I needed a laugh today. I do have to say that we visited Zion in Nov and it was amazing -- beautiful weather and no crowds. I think it's all about timing.

dwa3592

Came here to confirm that Congaree was on the list.

manfromchina1

I drove from New Orleans to NYC through the Blue Ridge Parkway once. I thought it was extraordinarily beautiful. Also drove through the north of Arizona from LA back to NOLA. I was surprised how northern the terrain looked. All alpine forest and no cacti or anything even though when you take I-10 from Florida to California it's all cacti, canyons and mountains. Very beautiful in its own right. The scenery in New Mexico could easily shatter minds from Maine down to Florida on the eastern seaboard. It's eerie even during the day when you're driving through that Martian terrain.

fooker

Seems like the author simply does not like traveling to see things? Most of the article seems like minor annoyances that you take for granted.